"The Ghost Who Cannot Walk Through A Wall"

"Nessie..."

"Nessie!"

"Ness-eeee!"

"Eee".

"Who's that?"

"Me!"

And there on the drawbridge was a strange, old gentleman in strange, old clothes.

"Permit me to introduce meself" he said. "Sir Jasper Jodhpur - ghost".

"I guessed", said Coojee.

"And you're not frightened?"

"Of course not", said Coojee.

"Nobody ever is, demmit. That's me problem. Can't get the hang of haunting. Disgrace to the profession, that's me!"

"I'm the skeleton in the cupboard of the ghosts of England,
A great embarrassment to them all.
I'm the one the people mock.
I'm a public laughing stock.
I'm the ghost who cannot walk through a wall.

I'm the fellow who lets the side down for the ghosts of England
At ev'ry Annual Phantoms' Ball.
'Cos they all stare at the floor
When I enter by the door.
I'm the ghost who cannot walk through a wall.

I try, I try.
Marks for that at least I deserve.
I really let myself go
But at the final mo',
Thinking I'll lose me nose, I lose me nerve
And swerve!

I'm considered a total failure by the ghosts of England
And by the family at the hall.
When I meet 'em on the stair
They pretend that I'm not there.
I'm the ghost who cannot walk through a wall!

Through a wall!
Through a wall!
The ghost who cannot walk through a wall!