"Animal Rights!"

Well, now! Who do you think was the most important character in that story?

Nessie? Coojee? What about Sean The Shoemaker? ... or Nessie's cousin Dylan? ... or Blodwyn, the welsh witch? ... or, what about Sir Jasper Jodhpur, the ghost?

Well, let me tell you who I think was the most important character.

The pigeon. You know, the one who took the message to the corgies.

A pigeon in Trafalgar Square
On one of the higher heights
Said, "There they go again down there
Campaigning for Human Rights.
Always the same old fuss,
What about rights for us?
And not just for pigeons
But for all animal religions".

Animal Rights!
Animal Rights!
My! What a simple refrain!
Animal Rights!
Animal Rights!
Why don't we use it to start a campaign?

Animal Rights!
Animal Rights!
Go spread the glorious word!
Let all who crawl
Or float or fly,
Inhabit the land
Or sea or sky,
Unite and fight
Wherever the cry
Of 'Animal Rights!' is heard!"

The message flashed from mouth to mouth
By animal telegraph,
From flocks of starlings flying south
To elephant and giraffe.
Chattering cockatoos
Rapidly spread the news
And two hours later
It was all over the equator.

'Animal Rights!
Animal Rights!'
Wow! What a slogan to sing!
'Animal Rights!'
'Animal Rights!'
Now you'll be able to do your own thing.

'Animal Rights!'
'Animal Rights!'
Go spread the glorious word.
Let ev'ry seal
Or soldier ant,
Eagle or eel
Or elephant,
Unite and fight
Wherever the chant
Of 'Animal Rights!'
Is heard!

You can grunt it, growl it,
Hoot it, howl it.
[Audience](ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can snort it, snap it,
Yelp it, yap it.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can bay it, bray it,
Whinney it and neigh it.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can squawk it, squeak it,
Trumpet it and shriek it.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can mew it, miaow it,
Bark it and bow-wow it.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can cluck it, quack it,
Cackle up a racket.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can caw it, call it,
Even caterwaul it.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can croak it, crow it,
(Cattle you can low it).
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can baa it, bleat it,
Twitter it and tweet it.
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

You can coo it, moo it,
Cock-a-doodle-doo it!
(ANIMAL RIGHTS! ANIMAL RIGHTS!)

'Animal Rights!'
'Animal Rights!'
Oh! What a wonderful cause!
'Animal Rights!'
'Animal Rights!'
Show you're in favour by raising your paws.

'Animal Rights!'
'Animal Rights!'
Go spread the glorious word!
Let ev'ry faun
Or fish or fowl,
Parakeet, prawn
Or tawny owl
Unite and fight
Wherever the howl
Of 'Animal Rights!' is heard!